“Listening is leadership skills”

We all know communication is key to building relationships, solving problems, reducing conflict and, basically, interacting well with others.

With smartphones, tablets and 24/7 access to information, it is harder than ever to pay attention to something without a screen, let alone be an effective listener. But while everyone may be glued to their device of choice, listening is even more crucial to effective communication, and real knowledge. Learning not only happens by reading, researching or through today's favorite shiny object -- Big Data. True learning comes from sharing ideas through conversation, which involves being fully engaged in listening, in business and in life. Only then, can ideas evolve, leaders lead and teams flourish.

 I spend most of my time in the field, introducing myself to as many people as possible, hearing about their ideas and successes, listening to their concerns and grievances and responding thoughtfully to their questions. This isn't something I take lightly. I work on my listening skills every day.

I think Steve Jobs said it best, "It [whatever you choose to do] has got to be something that you're passionate about, because otherwise you won't have the perseverance to see it through." I am passionate about listening, because it has been proven time and again to be the most direct route to knowledge and ultimately, success.

So how do you learn to listen? For me, based on my experience and personal leadership style, I make sure my listening is as effective as possible by framing it around three things:

1. Knowing what I don't know: 

            Almost 85 percent of what we know is learned through listening. Therefore, whenever I encounter a new situation, I strive to identify what I don't know about it and what I should know. Once I realize my knowledge gap, I find as many team members as possible who can help me develop the insight I need. And then I listen.

2. Actively listening and caring about the messenger: 

            When I meet with someone, I purposely turn off any potential external distractions including email notifications and my phone. I also find my mental switch and turn off internal distractions, such as personal worries and things on my "to-do list." This includes eliminating any preconceived notions, biases and judgments that may change what I take from what the speaker is saying. These distractions could jeopardize my listening and result in no real interaction at all. So I tune out the noise to tune into the meeting I am having. I engage 100 percent, I pay attention, I concentrate on and empathize with, the person delivering the message. And I listen.

3. Engage in 360 degree listening: 

            As Charan suggests in "The Discipline of Listening," I try to gain as much insight as possible from the people I speak with by engaging in every angle of the conversation. I purposely meet in a face-to-face setting with as many team members as possible in order to be able to fully understand every angle. (For my last project, that meant visiting and over 130 franchisee owners over a six-month period.) And I listen.

If you want to improve your leadership and overall ability to build effective relationships, gear your passion toward creating or improving your listening ability. I'm passionate about listening. It's what I've chosen to do each and every day. So, whether I'm chatting with team members, talking to our CEO or meeting an owner or technician in the field -- I listen. My reward is that I learn.

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Good bye Party For Miss Pushpa T.S.

Nissim Ezekiel

About the Author

Nissim Ezekiel (24 December 1924 – 9 January 2004) was an Indian Jewish actor, playwright, editor and art-critic. He was a foundational figure in postcolonial India's literary history, specifically for Indian writing in English.

He was awarded the Sahitya Akademi Award in 1983 for his Poetry collection, "Latter-Day Psalms", by the Sahitya Akademi, India's National Academy of Letters. Ezekiel is universally recognized and appreciated as being one of the most notable and accomplished Indian English language poets of the 20th century, applauded for his subtle, restrained and well crafted diction, dealing with common and mundane themes in a manner that manifests both cognitive profundity, as well as an unsentimental, realistic sensibility, that has been influential on the course of succeeding Indian English poetry. Ezekiel enriched and established Indian English language poetry through his modernist innovations and techniques, which enlarged Indian English literature, moving it beyond purely spiritual and orientalist themes, to include a wider range of concerns and interests, including mundane familial events, individual angst and skeptical societal introspection.

Introduction:

This poem is often described as a parody of or satire on Indian English. It illustrates the idiolectical features of the brand of English used by Gujarati speakers, as a humorous reconstruction of a particular variety of Indian English. It is actually “a satiric self-revelation of the speaker”. As Bruce King has put it, “Language reveals the speaker’s mind and social context; clichés, triteness, unintended puns are among the devices used to imply hypocrisy, pretence, limited opportunities and confusion”.

Note the Indianness inherent in the very title of the poem, the occurrence of the initials at the end of the name, a very Indian habit both in speech and writing. Even ‘goodbye party’ seems to be an Indian imitation of ‘birthday party’!

Core Meaning

The meaning of the poem according to specific stanzas is given below:

Stanza: 1 The speaker says that their dear sister, Miss Pushpa is leaving for a foreign country, and they all wish her bon voyage.

Stanza: 2 He says that they “are all knowing” the sweet nature of the Miss Pushpa who “is smiling and smiling for no reason, but simply because she is feeling”.

Stanza: 3 The speaker goes on to say that her father was a renowned advocate in Bulsar or Surat, and that he is “not remembering” the correct place.

Stanza: 4 Then he suddenly remembers that the place is Surat. He seems to be a poor speaker when he points out the irrelevant fact that he stayed there once with his uncle’s very old friend whose “wife was cooking nicely”.

Stanza: 5 Again, the speaker starts praising Miss Pushpa, and says that she is very popular with men and ladies also. Whenever he asked her to do anything, she said, “just now only I will do it”. Clearly the speaker means Miss Pushpa’s readiness to do any work, and the unnecessary use of “just” and “only” exhibit the Indian speaker’s ignorance of the usage of English words, creating laughter and fun. The speaker concludes his amusing speech, saying that they are wishing Miss Pushpa bon voyage.

Stanza: 6 He informs that Miss Pushpa ‘will do the summing up’, when the other speakers finish their talk. What he means is that Miss Pushpa will respond to their words of praise in the end. Thus the poet makes fun of the faulty Indian way talking English.

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Gestures and Posters are important element of Non-Verbal Communication

Defination

Nonverbal communication is the process of communicating by sending and receiving wordless messages. This type of communication includes gestures, touch, body language, posture, facial expressions, and eye contact. Nonverbal communication can also include messages communicated through material items. For example, clothing or hairstyle is a form of nonverbal exchange that communicates something about the individual. As a general rule, nonverbal communication can be studied based on the location or context of communication, the physical characteristics of the interlocutors, and the behaviours of the interlocutors in the course of the interaction.

Speech

Ironically, nonverbal communication can also be found in speech. This type of nonverbal communication is called paralanguage and includes vocal elements, such as voice quality, pace, pitch, volume, rhythm, and intonation. Differences in paralanguage can impact the message that is communicated through words. For example, if someone smiles while saying "Get out of town," that person likely is communicating that she doubts something you're saying or finds it unbelievable. Alternatively, if someone comes running at you and screams "Get out of town! " with a furious expression, it might be a literal threat. Paralanguage is a good example of nonverbal communication that is not visual.

Posture

Posture, or a person's bodily stance, communicates much about a person's perspectives. Various postures include slouching, towering, shoulders forward, and arm crossing. These nonverbal behaviors can indicate a person's feelings and attitudes. Posture can be used to determine an individual's degree of intention or involvement, the difference in status between interlocutors, and the level of fondness a person has for the other communicator, depending on body "openness. "

Studies investigating the impact of posture on interpersonal relationships suggest that mirror-image congruent postures, where one person's left side is parallel to the other person's right side, lead communicators to think favorably about their exchange. Posture is socialized and geographical, meaning that an individual learns different ways to carry themselves in different contexts. A housewife from Kansas City will compose herself differently than a dock worker from Portland, who will compose himself differently than a teenager in Seattle. Generational differences demonstrate how posture is socialized; older generations were taught to carry themselves with their shoulders farther back, prompting parents to remind today's youth to stop slouching.

Gestures

Gestures are movements with one's hands, arms, or face that communicate a particular message. The most common gestures are emblem gestures or quotable gestures that are learned within a particular cultural to communicate a particular message. For example, in the Western world, waving one's hand back and forth communicates "hello" or "goodbye. " Emblem gestures can vary by cultural space so widely that a common gesture in one context is offensive in another. Facial gestures, or facial expressions, are a particularly communicative form of gesture. With all of the various muscles that precisely control the mouth, lips, eyes, nose, forehead, and jaw, human faces can make more than ten thousand different expressions. Facial expressions are more difficult for the "speaker" to manipulate, given that so many micro-movements are involved in the creation of one expression. This makes facial gestures extremely efficient and honest, and are therefore heavily relied upon in by the "listener" in evaluating the "speaker's" assertions.

Clothing

Clothing is a means of communicating nonverbally that relies upon materials other than one's body. Further, it is a form of nonverbal communication that everyone engages in unless living on a nudist colony. The types of clothing an individual wears convey nonverbal clues about his or her personality, background, and financial status. Even if an individual does not put much thought into his attire, what he wears still communicates something to others, even unintentionally. An example of how people are aware that their clothing serves to communicate is the notion of proper dress. You would dress differently to go to a wedding than a job interview than camping .